Have you ever struggled?

I've never done this before. Write a blog post. I'm going to give it a shot. My name is Marcus and I have an amazing wife, her name is Tabitha. We have 4 pretty awesome kids, 3 boys and a girl.

I ask "have you ever struggled?" as a rhetorical question. Of course, we've all struggled in one way or another. Today, I want to talk about struggling, just a little bit.

My wife and I have had our fair share of struggles. With that being said, what is "our fair share?" Does that mean that my struggles are any more or less important than yours? No. Everyone's struggles are their own. The truth of the matter is, I don't know what your struggles are, I don't know what they were, and I don't know what they will be. All I know is that you have had them, you are having them, and you will have them. The good news is that you're not alone. EVERYONE has struggles.

Right now I'm struggling with my purpose. Since 1999, I've always had a job. There were very short stints between jobs, but that was very rare. This year in March, I was laid off due to Covid. My company said they were going to shut down for 2 week, and just never opened back up. I used some of this time to relax and have a breather, I mean for the first time in my life I didn't have to work. We saved up some money and I started a new business. I was doing okay, but I realized that it wasn't really what I wanted to do with my life. So we sold it. We had another very well established business, and I didn't want to do that anymore either. So we sold that. Now, I don't know what I want to do.

This is a struggle. The hard part about struggling, is that, if you let it, it will help you to struggle in other areas of your life. Because I'm struggling with what I want to do, I don't want to do anything. So I sit on the couch and play on my phone or on the computer and do nothing productive. As this cycle continues, it grows. More not knowing, more doing nothing, more not liking myself. What I need to realize is that, I have a purpose, even if I don't have a "job" right now. My purpose is to be a husband, parent, and servant in my church.

Hey who knows, maybe writing will be my next thing. Until then, I just need to love myself, love others, and listen for that still small voice of God, to tell me my next step.