Hey sister, I see you sitting there in church, looking beautiful and graciously smiling when people come to chat. I see you posting those precious moments of happiness with the kids and the special events. I see you doing all the Pinterest post-worthy activities and serving at church events. You're amazing!
I also see what others can overlook. The disconnection between you and your spouse during service. The crawling in bed at night and not talking or him sleeping on the couch. I see the loneliness you feel when you sit next to him, and there are miles between you two.
I see you sitting there wondering if things will change. On the outside, it looks great, but on the inside, you are empty.
Maybe you are unsure, or maybe you are of your husband's porn use. Maybe you even think it's great because then you don't have to be intimate with him. One less thing you have to do. Let's be honest for a minute. The reason you got married was to be with this person. To be co
connected, close cared for, and caring for them.
I see you, and you're not alone.
I see all the fantastic things you do, but they will never repair the disconnection in your marriage. Pornography was created to be another person in your relationship. It is another woman in your relationship. It is the woman who gets your husband's time, affection, attention, and connection.
The path back to your marriage will include the process of evicting the other woman out of your relationship, but it will require some changes on both parts. For you, it is possible to have a husband who cherishes you fully. It takes some support and not shame. For some wives, we will have to understand that this other woman has been a part of their lives for a long time, and it will be hard to let a relationship go that has been there through everything. It doesn't mean it can't be done. It means that there will need to be time. There will need to be time for you to find yourself again. Heal some of your hurt. Learn to grow in some areas you may have let go of because there was just too much going on.
There needs to be an understanding of what God says about you, your husband, your marriage, pornography, all of it. The first part is saying no more to living this way. It doesn't have to be your only option; there is hope for you to have a loving relationship.
You can change your marriage, and you don't need it publicly either.
You can address the elephant in the room with your husband and have a better connection
You can heal some hurt that keeps you from having conversations with your spouse and asking for what you want.
You can heal some of the issues that keep you stuck, not being fully affectionate with your spouse the way you want.
I would love to help you if you are ready to take the next step in working on your marriage. I want to encourage you that you can address this for yourself.
And heal just your side of the marriage, which can change your marriage. You are not alone.
Just send me a direct message or email me at bettertogethercoach@gmail.com
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